Article #48
Space
Angel Crash Lands!!!
OR…
The
Origin of Futurama?
Ah yes,
it’s that special time of year, when decrepit ghosts and goblins and pretty
princesses roam the Earth in search of delectable sugary treats (or brains,
depending on your lore of choice). Oh woe
is be to the poor fool who denies these mischievous
devils their due of tooth rotting fun (or brains), for their home may soon be
rife with foul smelling egg yolks and toiletries! It is in this misbegotten and horrific vein
that I introduce today’s entry, a tale of the “Space Angel”.
Running
for a couple of years in the early 1960s, this “animated series” would feature
short 5 minute episodes running once a day each weekday. Each episode would end in a cliffhanger,
until Friday, when everything would be wrapped up in a neat little
package. Of course I have “animated
series” in quotation marks because… well, I’ll let you judge for yourself.
The
show would feature 3 plucky comrades as they travel the space ways at the
beckoning of their Chief, investigating strange phenomena and acting as general
troubleshooters. Sounds exciting,
yes? Let’s dive right in…
Yeah, Space Angel wears an eye-patch. So what?
Wanna fight about it?
And
today’s thrilling episode is entitled…
I guess
you can figure out by the title why I picked this particular episode for
October. After all, what’s more synonymous
with Halloween than Crystal Meth – I mean Mace?
Nothing, that’s what!
This being the early 1960s, and therefore a chauvinistic
version of a utopian future, all females are obligated to wear muzzles while at
work.
Oh, and red is the new blonde!
We find
the crew of the rocket ship Starduster hard at
work. Seems the Chief has sent them off
to investigate some strange signals that have been interfering with earth
broadcasts. Using the latest in 1960s
sci-fi equipment including small, medium and large blinking lights, a…
periscope? Really? And the obligatory mouth covering microphone
(so we don’t have to animate mouths) – the crew triangulates the signal and
sets down on a remote planet.
And
what a brave and intelligent crew the Starduster is
filled with. We have…
The merry crew of the Starduster! From left to right we have Taurus, the portly
gunner/engineer; Captain Scott “Space Angel” McCloud; Crystal Mace, electronics
expert!
In this pose we can see the crew enjoying their favorite
pastime, staring blankly while biting down on their muzzles. Guess they aren’t just for girls after all!
And wait a second… Crystal Mace is a person, not a
drug? Who knew?
So I
presume that, like NASA, the Chief would select the epitome of Earth specimens
to be sent off into space to investigate strange and dangerous occurrences that
could threaten life as we know it. After
all, when faced with certain death it’s important to be in top physical shape
to improve your chances for survival.
And so
the Chief has sent a crew that includes an overweight Scot and a one-eyed
pilot.
Yes
folks, in the far flung future THAT’S the best Earth has to offer! Man, we’re so screwed…
Before
I continue, an aside. Anybody out there
remember watching Late Night with Conan O’Brien when he’d superimpose someone
else’s mouth on a still photograph of a celebrity, and then proceed to have
that celebrity seemingly say weird and funny things? Well guess how mouths were animated on this
show…
Captain Scott
McCloud – either shouting orders or chewing on some caramel, I can’t decide.
The
brave crew of the Starduster prepare to
disembark. In order for you to fully appreciate
the drama inherent in an episode of Space Angel, please enjoy the video clip
below. Simply click on the picture to
watch the show in Media Player and apologies in advance to any members of the
fairer sex out there…
CLICK ON THE PICTURE
CLICK ON THE
PICTURE
Click on Captain McCloud to thrill to the adventures of the Starduster crew!
Okay,
so, there’s a ghost boy on this planet, and no, it isn’t Casper. See, if it was Casper, then this would be
interesting – and the word “interesting” doesn’t belong with a cartoon of this caliber. Bizarre, maybe, but not interesting.
To
continue the recap, Crystal lets this little ghost-boy just school her in math
and launch the Starduster without actually lifting a
finger to try and stop him! Once again,
yes, this is the absolute BEST Earth had to offer. I like how Crystal, who’s sitting in a modern
rocket ship, decides to do her expense calculations by pad and paper. In the 1960s version of the future Earth has
mastered space travel, but the secrets of the electronic calculator continue to
elude the human race! Long live the
slide-rule!
And
hey, did you spot the edge of the animation cell as Taurus and Scott jet-pack
out of the Starduster? And did you notice how, as the door to the Starduster opens everyone is wearing a helmet, then
suddenly all the helmets are gone? See,
if it was me stepping out of my space ship and onto a harsh, desolate and
unexplored planet, I’d like to keep my oxygen tank. Sure, there could be oxygen on the planet –
but there could also be lots of other gases too.
Taurus’
comment of “This place smells dead!” tells you what kind of gases I’m talking
about.
Both
Scott and Taurus are dumbfounded by this strange turn of events, with Scott
immediately blaming Crystal, “What’s she doing?
She’s flown the Starduster before!”
Having 2 working eyes, Taurus is able to spy the speeding
Starduster much sooner than Scott.
Seriously, what’s Scott looking at? It’s like he’s staring at me and that’s just
creepy.
Scott and Taurus manage to duck just in time as a rogue Starduster passes overhead.
I could make a joke here about rockets entering dark, damp tunnels, but
I’m going to take the high road and let you use your imagination…
After their close call, both Scott and Taurus find themselves
in even more hot water as they are suddenly (somewhat) surrounded by ghosts!!!
Hoping for leniency, Taurus does his best Scott McCloud
impression. Dude, that’s just not PC.
Taurus and Scott are put on trial with “Hanging Judge” Sheety presiding, and for the prosecution… a member of the
KKK apparently.
This image effects one those “You know this cartoon is
pretty old when…” moments.
And kids, if you don’t know what the KKK is, look it
up. Suffice it to say that things
weren’t looking good for Scott and Taurus.
The
charge, kidnapping! Seems the ghosts
think Scott and Taurus are responsible for shanghaiing of one of their own, a
young, impressionable lad with the name of Humphrey. Yet both Scott and Taurus are there and
Humphrey is nowhere to be found… I don’t really like where this is going – it’s
becoming way more Law & Order than I bargained for. What do they think Taurus and Scott did to
poor Humphrey anyway? He’s a GHOST,
what’s the worst that could happen to him?
Heck, how do you even kidnap a ghost?
Well, it is the future, full of wonders like pads of paper, pencils and
blinking lights, so anything is possible, I guess.
Scott
and Taurus cop a plea; if they manage to return Humphrey unharmed then the
ghosts won’t eat their brains (or something like that). Of course now Scott figures out that maybe,
just maybe, the Starduster’s rogue trip wasn’t just
Crystal’s fault and that maybe the ship has a stowaway.
On cue
the Starduster lands, the doors open to reveal…
Why is Crystal holding her side like that? What did Humphrey do to her, the twisted
fiend!!!
After
some coaxing Crystal managed to get Humphrey to let her land the ship. Happy to have Humphrey back, the ghosts let
Scott and Taurus go free. Before leaving
Scott asks the ghosts about the strange transmissions that originated from
their planet (remember those transmissions? the reason the Starduster
was sent to the planet in the first place?
yeah, me neither). The ghosts say
that the signals were created so that people would notice them and once more
believe in ghosts, but they promise to stop if the Starduster
crew spreads the word that ghosts are real.
So, to
recap the logic here – the ghosts decide the best way to get humanity to
believe in their existence is by jamming humanity’s radio transmissions. That was their brilliant plan, instead of
just, you know, showing up on Earth and spooking people.
Man
they’re dumb. Who’s going to believe a
one-eyed pilot, obese clod and ditzy dame when they come out of a rocket ship
screaming about ghosts on a far off planet?
Heck, most people would probably just laugh and say the ghosts the crew
saw were just a mass hallucination brought on by a lack of oxygen – as
throughout this episode the crew doesn’t once bother to wear a space helmet!
And
thus ends another thrilling adventure of the Space Angel.
And yet
I wonder…
In the
year 1999 Matt Groening introduced the world to Futurama. Set 1000 years in the future the cartoon universe
of Futurama includes many of those classic
science-fiction elements and images that people have grown to love such as
rocket ships, weird aliens, doomsday weapons, “old school” robots and
more! All this, wrapped in a
contemporary package has made Futurama a cult
favorite, and yet I have to wonder if maybe, just maybe, Matt Groening didn’t
specifically have Space Angel on the brain when he dreamed up Futurama. The
similarities are uncanny as you have…
Planet Express Ship and the Starduster,
both pointy, gaudy colored rocket ships that can travel from planet to planet…
and each ship has a primary crew of 3 people!
Captain Leela Turanga and Captain Scott McCloud, both with serious visual
impairments that would prevent them from legally driving a 1979 Gremlin, yet
somehow both fully licensed to operate an interstellar space ship! I guess there are fewer things to crash into
in outer space…
Philip J. Fry and Crystal Mace. Both of them exhibit limited mental abilities
yet somehow each manages to obtain an important position on their respective
ships! And in each case they seem to
have feelings for their respective captains… hmm…
And what space crew doesn’t include a lovable, catch-phrase
spouting ethnic-minority robot? Bender,
everyone’s favorite Hispanic robot, has his patented “Kiss my shiny metal
ass!” While that’s a good one, who can
forget that blustering Scot Taurus’ memorable “This place smells dead!” Seriously, try that one tomorrow at work or
school, and within a week it’ll sweep the nation! And yeah, Taurus technically isn’t a robot,
but given his gross obesity, he certainly moves like one!
And of course there must be the crotchety old man in a
white laboratory coat who sends the crew on their ludicrously dangerous missions,
ably represented by Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth on Futurama
and the venerable Chief on Space Angel!
Why’s the Chief got his mouth open like that? And why does the Professor have his finger
pointed up like that? (SHUDDER)
And
there you have it. If Space Angel wasn’t
the main inspiration for Futurama, it sure as heck
had to be on the list somewhere, wouldn’t you agree?
I think
I’ll call it a day. Take care!