Article #20
THE PONY’S POPPING PILLS!
OR
THE TRUE THREAT OF GRASS! PART II
Well, the summer’s drawing to a close, and with it the bevy of movie sequels Hollywood’s given the public. Never one to miss a trend (although I do catch it WAY after it’s over, I don’t miss it) here’s a sequel of my own.
Last month we had an interesting entry featuring Batman’s foil, The Joker, and his unique use for Loco Weed (Marijuana, or Grass, to the rest of us). Now, proponents of weed/hemp will tell you that there are a lot of uses for it besides lighting it up. It could be used to make rope, for instance. Keeping this in mind, I scoured the net for another neat example of the things that dope just isn’t used for anymore. Of course, this brilliant example is right out of a comic book, X-Mas Comics #2 to be precise. This issue, a giant-sized 300+ comic, reprints some of the popular strips from Fawcett Comics, including Captain Marvel (Shazam!), Spy-Smasher, Ibis and others.
The interesting part, for this site anyway, is a little tale by that modern cow-puncher (really, did the guy actually punch cows?) Golden Arrow. And so we begin…
Now, this being the 1940s, Sambo is not exactly drawn PC – BUT, he’s being drawn a lot better than some of the other African Americans of the era. To be fair, the Colonel’s daughter doesn’t look to good either. She sort of reminds me of a women body builder actually. Remember kids, steroids and estrogen don’t mix!
You see what I mean? Man, that ‘Roid Rage is something! Of course Crabb is mad, but did he really have to kick that poor barfly in the nuts? That just isn’t right. Here’s a close-up…
There you have it! Try to find that on a TCM western! Holy Crap is right! It doesn’t look like Crabb kicked our boy but actually STOMPED ON THE FAMILY JEWELS!!! Obviously you don’t want to mess with this guy, he’s got nothing but evil up his sleeve – and the worst, the absolute worst is yet to come! Someone call the ASPCA and PETA!
What, did you miss it? Well, here’s another close-up…
Weed is a killer! Look at that! One happy horse takes a snootful of the stuff and BAM! He’s taking down the world’s strongest woman! How could anyone say weed is cool now?
I can see why the Colonel is so down and out. First, he lets the guy he owes $10, 000 to get near his horse AND THEN he hires a perfect stranger to ride his horse in the derby! No ID check, no contract, just a promise he’ll help. Maybe the Colonel’s been in the loco weed too?
Now the guy’s using Loco Weed sugar! Man, this guy’s a one-trick pony (Haha – anyone? Get it? Ah, nuts to you!).
The day before the big derby and NO ONE IS GUARDING THE F***ING HORSE!!! Are you kidding me? If I was in the military, and the Colonel was my commander, I’d desert. Sure, they shoot deserters, but I’ll take my chances.
And poor Crabb. All he wants is ten grand and a chance to feel up Lucy the Amazon. Is that too much to ask? He must be hard up for girls if even Lucy won’t give him the time of day. And finally, a little continuity error – notice the second last panel – where did Crabb’s arm sling go?
Some guys go for Wet T-Shirt contests, others for Wet Pony contests. To each his own, I guess…
Okay, it’s the big finale folks! Will Golden Arrow guide Diablo to victory? Will Lucy marry Crabb anyway just to teach him a lesson? Will White Wind stomp Golden Arrow into the ground in a fit of jealousy?
They say Marijuana is a gateway drug, and they’re right. It’s a slippery slope kids, just look at our old pal Crabb. He must have had a ready stash of the stuff, and to use it on horses is just plain wrong. Of course, going nuts and trying to kill your competition is pretty bad too. So is sabotage and theft. And kicking a guy in the balls, that’s just evil. So don’t be a Crabb chasing after El Diablo… just kick the White Wind habit… or something…
Until next time!
IWI meets WTF Moment
The panel below from Detective Comics #350, with Robin battling the diabolical King, really makes you think…
And you wonder why people think Robin is “hitting for the other team”. Me, I just find it creepy…