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ADVERSE ADS

 

Sometimes just as memorable as the comics themselves, are the advertisements within.  From the incalculable uses of Hostess snack cakes in crimefighting, to bizarre T-Shirts and snug tidy whities, you could find it in the comics.  This page is devoted to some of the stranger adverts you might find flipping through some of your favorite issues.

 

Please be patient while the images load.  Some of them are pretty large.

 

AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS

 

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Not really an ad, but interesting nonetheless. Anyone who follows this site will realize (eventually) that I’m a fan of Godzilla. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I got one of these nifty little ornaments by American Greetings for the holidays. As you can see by the package, it’s one of those collectible ornaments with light and sound effects. Being an eager imp, I opened it up and then read the instructions on how to activate the effects…

 

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Okay, seems simple enough. Just “Press button under water to hear Godzilla sound effects.” And there the adventure began. So, after a half-hour of effort, here’s the various points of water pressed to try and activate Big G…

 

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Much cursing ensued. Helpful hints included putting the ornament UNDER WATER then maybe it would turn on!

 

So, after much pain and suffering, desperation set in, and eventually, EVENTUALLY, the secreted button was found and Godzilla came to life!

 

Would you like to see where “under water” you had to press to get Godzilla to roar?

 

Then just scroll on down.

 

Remember, you had to press a button under water to turn it on.

 

Okay, here you go…

 

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Yes, it’s one of Godzilla’s fins, remarkably not under water. I think Godzilla can sum up my feelings on that best with the image below…

 

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Want to check out more Adverse Ads?  Just scroll down and click on the links!

 

ADVERSE ADS ARCHIVES (in no particular order, click on the yellow text below to see the entry)

 

The most frustrating Godzilla Christmas Ornament ever!

 

Easter Eggs the Easy Way

 

This Naruto toy really is a gas!!!

 

Duke the Dog is not just into action, but SUPER ACTION!!!

 

Hunting is for the birds!

 

Two ads for the price of one! TV hypnosis and Muscles? the Charles Atlas way!

 

This Duraclean campaign leads with their best side!

 

Teach your kids how to drive with the wonderful Classy Car Crashers!

 

Nothing says sexy like wearing those swim-proof lips!

 

Be taller NOW!

 

Betty (of Archie fame) shills Psychodelic stuff.

 

I love my HULK belt!  It says HULK, has a HULK card and…that’s about it.

 

Green Arrow unveils the dreaded FRUIT PIE ARROW!!!

 

How to write crappy paragraphs and make money?  Count me in!!!

 

Having trouble with the ladies?  Try the HYPNOTIC CURE ALL!!!

 

Order Superman’s death for $2.50 (plus $1 postage) with Kryptonit rocks!!!

 

Authentic BANANA GEAR helps you SAVE THE WHOLE DAMN UNIVERSE!!!

 

Tired of your dead end job?  Then pick up a comic and enter the field of LAW ENFORCEMENT!!!

 

Finally become the envy of all peeping Toms by getting the Spy All!!

 

My Hair!  My Beautiful Hair!!!  Curse you lousy, stinking bacteria!!!!

 

Ever want your own Van Dyke?

 

Ever wonder how you’d look with 32 different hairstyles?  Me neither.

 

Don’t know how to tell her how you feel? Say it with Zolatron!

 

Saturday Mornings will never be the same after this ad!!

 

Meet the Chia Pets that NASA Endorses!!

 

GI Joe meets the Six Million Dollar Atomic Knock Off!!

 

Crush your enemies with your own 7 Foot Tall Robot!!

 

Cure Nail Biting and get Married!!

 

Meet the Mighty Jet-Boy!!

 

Mow them down with your very own Bike Machine Gun!

 

Hey Guys! Ready for your own hands of steel?

 

The Mummy Lives! – for Spirograph?

 

Ever dreamed of building your own hovercraft?  Yeah, me neither.

 

Click here and become one with advertising goals!

 

Need some high performance head? Click here!

 

Crispy critters delivered right to your door!  Only $2.98!!!

 

Sally learns to play with Tommy’s Tricky Willie!?!

 

Spidey’s Aunt May has been kidnapped… for Twinkies!?!

 

T-Shirts, get your bizarre Crumbly T-Shirts here!!!

 

Batman Loves Twinkies!

 

Tired of that incessant stickiness? Try some lube for that cube!

 

Anyone for some monkey flavored Capri-Sun?

 

And for the men, meet the New New Commander!!!

 

Thin wasn’t always in! Wate-on sister, Wate-on!!!

 

Tommy and Sally learn the joys of Nuclear Submarine War!!!

 

And what’s a Nuclear Sub without a Computer Brain!!!

 

And the most dreaded of weapons – THE ACCORDIAN!!!

 

The Moon Blob is coming! – Run!  Run for your lives!!!

 

Oval Callout: A-one!
A-two!
A-three!
Ha-cha!!
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“Remember kids, no matter how much life gets you down,

just keep on dancing!  Hooray!” – Mr. Zodiac