Article #16

 

SECRET LIFE OF BILLY THE KID!

 

It’s springtime, a time when one’s fancy turns to love.  Teachers, doctors, lawyers, people of all shapes and colours thinking of the more genteel part of life.  Including cowboys.  But of course, thanks to a certain movie, people’s perception of the rugged cowboy has changed.  Considered groundbreaking stuff for movies, this theme was, of course, covered in comic books almost 30 years ago, and featured one of the most notorious names of the wild west.

 

It all took place in one of DC Comics’ lesser known digest titles, Jonah Hex and Other Western Tales #2.  Besides boasting a pretty cool cover, it also featured some gritty cowboy action, and then this tale:

 

 

 

 

So Billy’s hunting down the man who murdered his Pa.  Okay, how about we check this one out.  Give me a second here while I Google ‘Billy the Kid’.  Well, that doesn’t check out.  In fact, Billy almost always wore a sombrero, and that doesn’t look like a sombrero to me.  Ah, history comes alive in comic books, doesn’t it?

 

So, anyway, Pancho (can’t get more Mexican than that, can you?) and Billy set out to find the dudes who killed Billy’s dad, and, uh, camp out, and Pancho offers to serenade Billy with a song that broken many a gal’s heart, and, yeah…

 

 

Okay, Billy has a way with women, doesn’t he?  Guess times were different, and slapping around blind girls was all the rage.

 

And Billy’s stance on Pancho seems to be softening – guess one night together does wonders…

 

 

Hey folks, as a special bonus, here’s Lorne Greene in a cameo performance as the town’s mayor!  Hooray!  Come to think of it, Billy does have a resemblance to Dirk Benedict.  All we’d need is Richard Hatch and it’s a quasi-Battlestar Galactica reunion.  Now that’s classy!

 

 

No!  They trampled Boxey! J  Hands up, both of you, who got that joke.  Anyone?  Ah forget it.

 

Man, this story has more plot twists than a pretzel (lame, I know, but you work with what you’ve got).  So, Blackie Kane got drunk, took some shots in a saloon that spooked a horse that then trampled a little boy which prompted Billy to ride out for a doctor leaving Pancho to face Blackie Kane.

 

Doesn’t anyone see a problem here?  Why would the townsfolk stand around like idiots and let the guy they hired to STOP Blackie Kane ride out?  Don’t any of them know how to drive a horse and wagon?

 

It’s alright though, Pancho’s here to save the day!  You go Pancho!!

 

 

Or maybe not.

 

Billy sure is broken up by Pancho’s untimely demise, making one wonder what exactly went down their first (I’m guessing) unforgetable night together.

 

Only one more page to go folks.  What could be Billy’s secret?  Could it be the secret to Curly’s gold?  Or a love note from Jesse James?  We’ll see in a moment, but first some unfinished business:

 

 

Well, Pancho’s been avenged.  Now folks, for the big finale!

 

 

And there, ladies and gentlemen, is the underlying inspiration for Brokeback Mountain.  Comic history strikes again.  But wait, you ask, what is Billy’s startling secret?  Well…

 

 

Ah yes, true history comes alive in comic books!  Well folks, you have to admit, that’s one heck of a secret!  Who knew?

 

Well, that’s it for another installment, time for me to hitting the ol’ dusty trails.  Until next time people (or person, judging by my hits counter).

 

 

 

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