AND
COMIC BOOK TID BITS ?
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COMIC
BOOK TID BITS
What
am I talking about? If you’re a comic
book or comic strip fan, you understand how at their very best comics can
provide us with a wondrous moment or memory that lasts a lifetime, and how at
their worst they make us blind with rage at having spent our hard earned cash
on absolute crap. Comic Book Tid Bits
lie somewhere in the middle. This
website is devoted to bringing moments found in comics that just cause you to
pause, scratch your head, and wonder aloud as to what the heck is going
on? What is a Comic Book Tid Bit?
Simply scroll down to find out…
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Our Latest Article is…
Article #54!
Another
Hollywood Comic Adaptation
OR…
Could Someone Explain What Happened to Dr. Erskine?
A couple of entries today. Sorry for the delay.
People
often say that Hollywood has run out of ideas. I would like to officially
pinpoint the year that this monumentous feat occurred to July 17, 1996. How,
you ask, is it possible to take such a broad opinion and set it to an exact
day? Read on, my friend, and all shall be revealed.
Now, it’s
no secret that the movie industry has long mined other media for ideas. Be it
plays, books, video games, radio, puppet shows, true life events, comic books, television
or what have you, it’s all been tested and tried. In fact, it’s been tried
since the dawn of the motion picture industry. The depression/WWII era saw
movies based on comic strips (Popeye and Blondie anyone?), comic books
(Superman serial, Captain America serial, the list goes on), radio (Lone Ranger
and Green Hornet anyone?) just to name a few. The statement that Hollywood has
run out of ideas stems from the fact that a lot of these selfsame ideas are
being revisited, in many cases for the umpteenth time.
But
that’s okay. See, at least you can argue that these characters are popular
enough to merit being reimaged now and again for a new generation. If done
right new creative input can bring something fresh and interesting to a
character that may have been stagnating over the years. This, my friend,
requires some level of creativity.
Now, a lack
of creativity in my opinion is equal to just taking a mediocre idea and
slapping together a mediocre product and shoving it at the audience with a
shrug. After reading that statement you have to admit A LOT of movies fall into
this category. Sure, they may look flashy with quick cut editing and special
effects, but at the end of the day they’re at their best forgettable, and at
their worst regrettable. Which brings us to July 17, 1996… a day which shall
live in infamy… for it yielded the harbinger of doom…
Why does the above image make a cold chill crawl down my
spine???
Yes,
July 17th, 1996 – the day Kazaam was released upon the world. The
movie featuring a young Shaquille O’Neal (Hall of Fame basketball player and
very scary movie genie) as a “Rappin’-Genie-with-an-attitude”. You know, I
could rant about this movie, but why? Just Google it and you’ll get your fill
of rants soon enough. I mean the film’s got a 2.5 on IMDB for heaven’s sake!
That’s like minus 100 on any other site.
Now
then, what makes this a truly sad outing is that it’s neither an original idea
nor a very good idea. Sure, you say, Genies have been around for ages, what
makes you so gosh-darned sure that this particular Genie is so special? For the
answer to that we visit Double-Dare Adventures #2 from the swinging 1960s,
published by Harvey Comics, and one special feature…
Here, I’ve
blown up the interesting bit for you…
So, we’ve
got Shaq in Kazaam, and we’ve got a comic with Kazzam. Hmm… we have Kazaam, a
Genie at the beck and call of a kid and we’ve got Kazzam, a Wizard at the beck
and call of a kid. Hmm…
You
know what this means, right? When you’re mining 30 year old bottom of the
barrel comic books for a (very mediocre) movie idea – and then still find it
necessary to change your idea just enough so make it “original”, then truly, my
friends, it’s the beginning of the end…
You
know, if Shaq were painted blue I bet IMDB would give it a 3.0 at least – or maybe
that wouldn’t have been PC?
In a plot twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan, Kazzam
seems to reveal that the wizard they’re hunting is Kazaam! I mean, come on, how
many Blue Wizards are there???
Image
Within an Image
Okay,
this really isn’t an image within an image from Marvel Super Stars Magazine #4,
but it’s a brain teaser, whatever it is.
I
always enjoy reading the origins of characters, particularly well known
characters when they’re thrust into another Universe. We had several versions
of Superman and the rest of the DC Universe back in the multiverse years. We’ve
had alternate timeline characters in just about every comics universe, and it’s
always cool to see how small changes in the character’s life could alter their
destiny.
Lately
I’ve been reading the Marvel Adventures line of books. It’s a universe very
similar to the main Marvel universe, but with a more upbeat attitude and less
graphic violence. Let’s face it, we all need a break from doom and gloom once
in a while.
So now
we get to Marvel Super Stars Magazine #4, an issue that focuses on Captain
America, and naturally there’s a story that retells Cap’s origin for the Marvel
Adventures universe…
Things
you notice reading Marvel Adventures – they change things that could negatively
impact a child’s mind. For instance, Cap was actually created by being
inoculated with the super-soldier serum. Now, I’m guessing Marvel didn’t want
kids to get the idea that shooting up drugs will make them like Captain
America, so they revised the origin so now Cap gets electrocuted instead. Genius!
Speaking
of genius, did you spot the little tid bit that’s been nagging my mind? It’s located right next to Cap’s crotch on page one. Here,
I’ve blown it up for you…
Get your mind out of the gutter.
“His
secrets died went with him.” English was never my best subject, but what? Now,
I know folks don’t die all that often in the Marvel Adventures universe, that
explains the whole “Dr. Erskine was captured by a spy soon after.” Then what
happened? If the next line were “His secrets went with him,” then the question
is why didn’t the Nazis create their own army of Super-Soldiers and overrun the
Earth? The formula obviously worked and I’m sure they would have figured out
some way of getting the info out of the good doctor, and they had their own
scientists to make sure everything worked just fine.
Okay, so
maybe the line is “His secrets died with him.” Now, uhm, when did he die? If
the spy wanted to kill the doctor, then he could have just done it. Why would
the spy go to all the trouble of capturing Dr. Erskine only to then kill the
doctor? Wouldn’t the spy want his country to be able to create Super-Soldiers
too? Or maybe Dr. Erskine committed suicide? Not exactly a kid friendly
plot-turn, that. I know in the original story Dr. Erskine is killed by a spy
very shortly after he inoculated Cap with the Super-Soldier serum – he was
never captured. And the spy was then killed by Cap. Not terribly non-violent,
but a whole lot less confusing.
And now I
have a headache. Great.
Say, if
you’ve got a better theory on the whereabouts of Dr. Erskine, let me know.
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